I ask my husband for permission before I do anything. Between meeting with friends, going shopping, investing in this blog, or even just taking the kids to a family event. And before you scroll past this post - because I know that some of y'all are going to gasp at that, say that I'm killing feminism, or sound like I'm straight from the 50's - you should know that for us, it's not a control thing. So I wanted to lay it all out here...
It's a sign of respect.
Not only do I live in this traditional marriage and am an adult, but I am also a SAHM mom and wife. I've heard people say WAY too many times - " Well the money you have in you joint bank account is collectively both of yours. He just makes it." It literally makes me cringe when they say it. Because here's the thing, I DO NOT make an income. Sure, some peanuts here and there from blogging. But on the financial front, that's all my husband. He works damn hard for that money and allows me to stay home to raise our kids the way we want. And as someone who doesn't really contribute, I feel like it shows my respect and love for all that he does. I mean we are married after all. So why wouldn't I consult my husband about appointments, events, or anything else in my life? Everything that we do affects BOTH of us, so we need to discuss it first out of respect for each other.
We're able to make better decisions and are more engaged with each other.
He technically asks me, too. We both have two kids, a marriage, a million things on our to-do lists, and still trying to set down time for each other. So we have open discussions about purchases in being a doable thing. And there are more than enough times that he has to explain to me that it's just not the right time right now. Or that he just had a long, awful day and just needs me to be there with him. Or may had different plans for the money or time that I just didn't know about just yet. Which I completely respect. Because I get more insight and perspective from him.
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