Maybe it's because we have officially entered the love month or that Valentine's is fast approaching, but I am feeling a tremendous amount of love for my husband. So I thought that I would write him a letter (some of you may have seen a little snipbit of it on my Instagram for his birthday). And since he doesn't really like PDA...what better way to show my love for him than publicly expressing it further than on the blog for all the Internet to see!
Dear Marc,
When I first met you, I was in a very vulnerable time in my life. My parents had just gotten divorced, my father left, and I was going through all those crazy teenage girl hormones. But somehow, you made me feel completely like myself, even when I didn't have the slightest clue what that meant. No matter what weird quirk I showed you throughout the years, I always felt comfortable enough to let them shine. I never felt like I've had to put on an act, hide away any part myself, or ashamed for being me. Because you're always there for me, as I am. It's made me feel at peace. And when you're at peace something beautiful happens. You love easier, laugh harder, and enjoy it all.
I want to thank you. For being so sympathetic as I hovered over the toilet day in and day out while I was pregnant. And holding my hair or rubbing my back as I did it. For running out to the store late at night because we ran out of diapesr - again. For sleeping on the every edge of the bed just so my big ol' belly could have more room or so that the kids could come cuddle. For holding my hand (and legs) through both of my labors. For waking up in the middle of the night to help me with the kids, especially on the days that you have to work. For making every phase of our lives together the happiest even when it wasn't. And for being so forgiving. I know that I am extremely flawed...more than I care to admit at times, but you always find the grace to forgive those faults.
I watch as you come home every day, taking the time to still spend time with all of us. Playing with the kids - letting Christopher climb all over you or trying to get AnnaLynne to crawl or making them both laugh until they can't anymore. Staying up late with me - having secret Nerf gun fights, watching movies you aren't really interested in, eating unhealthy snacks, and giving me much needed cuddles after a long day. I see how much you care about us and how hard you work to make us happy.
You give me strength when I just can't seem to find it. You encourage me when I doubt myself, and dry my tears when I don't know if the decisions I make are completely right. You appreciate all that I do for our children more than anybody in this world. And you always challenge me to work harder and always dream bigger. Every time that I think that I am on the right path, I fall off and feel lost, to turn and see you walking this journey right beside me. I mean, this blog honestly wouldn't even exist without you. If it wasn't for your help and encouragement, my writing would still be hidden in a journal in the nightstand - or even be absolite. I couldn't be the mother or woman that I am today without you.
I thought that I knew the man that I said "I do" to, but you've proven to me that you are much more than I could've ever dream of. You balance me so well. We are like a giant see-saw: when one of our asses hits the ground, he other jumps on to raise it up. Like how I am an introvert, and you...are NOT. But I love it. Especially on the days that are full of children yelling, crying, and needing me to the point that I've shut down, you bust through that front door after work with a fire in your soul that I love. You are energetic, which inspires me to push through the laziness and tiredness that often tends to creep into my heart. And you use your words. Listening and communicating better than anyone that I've ever met. In fact, one of my favorite things to do is just hang out with you and have conversations. And you exceed where I often tend to fail in that category. Because you are really gifted at working through conflict, where I would rather run away. Your ability to move on from things is something that I continually admire.
You carry the world on your shoulders so that I don't have to. Every day (even when you aren't up for it) you roll out of bed and work your ass off for our family. Doing it because you want to set a good example for our children. Because you take your role as a provider seriously. And that is damn commendable in itself. I f you didn't work as hard as you do, I would never be given the opportunity to be a SAHM to our children. You stand as the main source of strength for our family to draw off of. And you are the best husband and father that a woman could ever find. You take care of us better than I think we tend to acknowledge on most days. But I hope you know that I am so happy to not only have you as a husband but also as the father to our two amazing children.
Our world has grown and changed simultaneously. You are the ONE person who not only knows me, but understands me. Our lives are incessantly entwined, We've been traveling this road for quite some time now. A road that one day our children will depart from as they grow up, pave their own roads, and drift until it is just you and I. Walking together, loving each other, and exploring the world. And that's plenty fine by me. Because you are my best friend. My world is what it is because of you.
I love you always,
Your wife
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