After eight years of being with my husband, I've come to the realization that I have ZERO control over him or anything he does in our marriage. Of course in some ways, I can provide a positive or negative influence over him through my own choices and attitudes. But ultimately the only person I have control over is myself. And I am a firm believer in from building a stronger you, comes a stronger relationship with those around you. So everyday I strive to go to bed feeling good about myself and in turn about my husband, marriage, and life with my family. Here's how I do it.
Stop All the Nagging
My husband absolutely hates nagging. Why? Because isn't a damn child who needs to be told what to do and when to do it anymore. But for some reason, I still find myself looking for something he ISN'T doing. Like leaving clothes on the bathroom floor, the toilet seat up, or forgetting to take out the trash. But the key is to acknowledge and express gratitude for all of the things he DOES do. So instead of ranting about the dirty plate left on the table (even though the trash is two steps away), I suck it up, bite my tongue, and just do it myself. And at times it's hard for me, but I've noticed that the less nagging I do, the more respect and cooperation I get from him. I just try to find effective ways to communicate my needs and ask myself, "Is it really worth the argument?", "What are trying to gain from it?", and "Should I just let it go?" - because the answers are always no it's not worth it, you'll gain nothing might even lose, and yes just LET IT GO!
Show Him Respect
Being in a more traditional marriage, I feel that always connecting physically and emotionally to my husband through respect is VERY important. Because I've found that in turn, he'll live up to my expectations. So I always try to make a point to value the things he values and support him in all of his interests, passions, and decisions. And in public, I never fight with him or contradict him, but instead pull him to the side or share later when something is bothering me. It is all about being proud of him, sticking by his side, and making sure he knows it.
Be Intimate
I'll be honest here, I am only really in the mood every once in awhile. But I always want to be intimate with my husband. That doesn't always mean sex though, it means all forms of affection - holding hands, scratching his head and back, cuddling, listening to everything he says, and much much more. Of course in the boundaries of our home, because we don't like showing affection outside of it (just not something we personal believe in). But I never want these things to die out just because we're married.
Let Him Unwind
My husband takes on all of the pressures of financially providing for our family. And I think that it is important to give him the time to fully relax when he gets home from work every day. Especially on the weekends. He needs times to spend time alone, do a hobby, work out, or hang out with friends. Anything that he needs to do to fully unwind, relax, unplug, and rest. It allows him to decompress from the day, breathe, and recharge for not only me, but also for our family as a whole.
Comments