The other day my husband and I were out taking a little us time shooting. When I found myself just staring at my husband, feeling this immense amount of love. And I started thinking about how one day, our children will experience the kind of real love that we feel right now. The wonder of it, and also the fragility of it. Deciding to be their most vulnerable as they open themselves to the greatest possibility of the highest of highs and lowest of lows that comes with it.
And then once they become parents, having a physical manifestation of their love walking around outside of themselves. Going from this theoretical idea of what they've known what love is - an idea that could be rejected or even hidden from if it ever gets to painful for them - to seeing it transform into an alive human being. A person that they'll be tied to forever.
But before they get there, there's some things I want them to know about true love more than you'll just know.
I want them to know that it’s real love when it simultaneously feels like everything you’ve always imagined and nothing like you’d thought it would be like at all. Like when your knees shake as you stand with them on your wedding day - staring into the eyes of your very-soon-to-be husband or wife. Declaring proudly in front of the world and each other to share a life, no matter how small or large the wedding may be.
I want them to know that it’s real love when the idea of not having that person in your life feels like the worst thing in the world. No matter how terrifying the relationship may get. Like when you’re sitting on the couch from them crying because you just decided to start trying for a precious baby.
I want them to know it’s real love when the world will finally make sense. When the colors show brighter With so much clarity, sometimes making you feel dizzy. Like when you look down at those two pink lines on a test.
I want them to know it’s real love when time suddenly is nothing and also everything. When hours of labor and pushing suddenly dissolved into the moment you finally meet your baby.
I want them to know it’s real love when you look down to see a beautiful crooked smile on that little face when your body is beyond exhausted and begging for nothing but sleep. And yet you keep pushing because that little human that holds that smile is your everything. Your why in the world.
You see, it all transforms you. Every moment, small and large. All coming together to form who you will be and the choice you’ll soon make. I want my children to know that it is real love when everything before and after is different.
And I also want them to know to not be afraid to let it in. Sure, it may arrive with some pain. Lots of commitment. And will demand your all. Requiring compromise, a whole lot of grace, and standing up to the unknown. Needing work, communication, sacrifice, and empathy. Because a life with love is unquantifiable in its riches. No matter how difficult is how it may end up. Even if it breaks your heart. Even when it scares you. Even when you feel completely exposed. Even if it seems easier not to. Love is ALWAYS worth it.
Because real love will change you. Cracking the ground beneath you. Making you float. And feel like it is immeasurable. It is everything that we live for and what powers our entire being.
And I hope my children experience it someday. The immense joy along with the inevitable pain. Because the rawness that comes with real love brought me to my marriage and them.
Comments