I had my fair share of mommy books to read, friends to turn to, and advice after advice after advice. But I have to say, there’s been so much about motherhood that I was not prepared for in all of the time leading up to it.
In all realness, babies are kind of boring
Once the newness and excitement of the first few days begins to wear off and the sleep deprivation starts to fully set in, you’ll start to realize that babies don’t really offer all that much. They eat, sleep, poop, cry, and then start the process all over again. Not much to it. I remember how much I tried to soak it all in with my first born. I would hold out for every flicker of the eye. And it was amazing. For a little while at least...but after weeks of the same old routine of a whole lot of nothing, it became, well boring! And then right at the pit of it, it happened! A smile. Then in that moment my mommy life was changed. Finally my baby had reciprocated the love and affection that I craved so much. It was the feedback that I need to show me that after six weeks of hard work, it was all worth it. Giving me energy. Giving me life. Making all of those sleepless nights, cracked nipples, and sore boobs the most rewarding thing in the world!
Recovering from childbirth downright sucks!
Whether you have a kid due to natural birth, a medicated birth, or a c-section, the time spent afterwards is nothing close to glamorous. Your life will be filled with mesh undies, pads, squirt bottles, and numbing spray. Because guess what? You just pushed a human out of your damn vagina! And it hurts...a lot. Especially if you tear.
All of those “I would never” statements are going to come back to bite you right in the kisser
Your gonna look around at all the kids around you, and think you have it all figured out. But all of those hard and fast set rules you think you are going to be a stickler on, are going to fly full force out the window WAY sooner than you will imagine.
“I will NEVER bribe my child to do something that I’ve asked of them because they’re going to listen to me the first tone.”
”I will NEVER let my child be one of those YouTube zombies, hooked on the iPad.”
”I will NEVER let my child co-sleep with me, take the pacifier, throw tantrums in public, or hit other kids while playing.”
And then BOOM! You have a kid and realize just how dumb you were to not only think all of those things, but to also think that you were above parenting that way. And just how much empathy you lacked for all the parents in the world before having your own kids.
Parenting is shitty, LITERALLY
Poop is going to consume your life! Before becoming a parent you are going to grossly underestimate the amount of times that you will be thinking about your children‘s bowel movements. Whether they’ve had one, the texture, the color, and even the time of day. It’s going to have a prominent effect in your motherhood journey all the way through toddlerhood. Because just when it starts to stop crossing your mind as much, here comes the dreaded potty training phase! I have learned that the best way to go, is to totally stock pile in wipes - the Costco way! And don’t be surprised if one of the last conversations that you have with your spouse is “did the baby poop today?” - I know, sexy right?
You’ll miss them when they’re right next to you
After a long and exhausting day, sometimes all that you’ll want is for your kids to just GO TO BED...and then it happens. Without any incidents, no fights, no fuss, and no crying. And then something weird happens to you. You begin to miss them. You’ll miss their beaming smiles. Those tiny giggles. Their big eyes making contact with yours. Their warm sweet cuddles. You’ll just miss them - to the point where you even begin to contemplate the very dreadful idea of waking them up! But you won’t, because you’re not a crazy person. You’ll see them in the morning anyways. Bright and early.
You‘ll receive an endless amount of unsolicited advice
Apparently having a child makes you prone to having everyone, and I mean EVERYONE give you parenting advice. On everything. From your parents, to your in-laws, to strangers in the store. You’ll hear it all. You’ll hear family tell you that it’s absurd to make your child go in time out at a young age because “they don’t know any better”. You’ll hear a stranger at target tell you that an organic food choice is better for your child. And they may think that theyre somehow doing you a favor by sharing their two cents. But you’ll need to stand your ground. After all, you are the one who knows what’s right and the best for your own family.
Making decisions is a real bitch
There are going to be a billion decisions to be made, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And you’ll feel the weight of them all. From the very beginning. It’ll all start with that pesky baby registry - trying to choose which products to use, how much to put, and much much more. But it gets easier. And someday you’re going to look back at all of it, and realize how much of a momzilla You were in the early stages of motherhood. To find well...it’s because that was a time that you were most in control. But also find that you were not going to change your child’s life so much by choosing one sippy cup over the other.
The relationships you have are going to change because they have to
With your spouse, friends, parents, in-laws, and hell, even strangers you’ve never even seen before. Because having a kid gives you a new perspective on life. Which is inherently gonna change the relationships there in. Your spouse will no longer be your main priority. You suddenly have empathy to different situations (tantrum in the grocery store? No problem). You find a new deep appreciation for your mom and mother-in-law. You start to gravitate towards your friends with kids more than those without. Things just change. Some for the better, and sometimes it takes a little work. Because having a ahift within a relationship means finding the reset button in order to establish a new normal and it can be tricky to get to it.
NOBODY knows exactly what they’re doing
Listen, a lot of us may seem or even put on a show like we have it all figured out, but there is no right way to do it or tutorial that could make any of it easier. Because every child and every family is different. In many ways. So no, that instagram mom doesn’t have it all together. And that mom yelling at her toddler in the store isn’t a mean mom. Because in all reality, us moms are all just trying to survive day by day and just hoping for the absolute best. But know that you are the best mom for your kids! No matter if you have been in pjs all day, haven’t showered in three days, or fed them sugar all day. You’re an amazing mom. And I see you. So just keep going mama!
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