A couple days ago my daughter started walking. And I realizing that there’s just something so special about the last baby.
Because when they’ placed in your arms for the very first time, something changes you. Well, everything changes. When you hear them cry, you breathe a sigh of relief - not because you know that they’re happy and healthy. But because you know that you’ll never experience that beautiful agony of growing and delivering another child. And you’re actually at peace with that chapter ending. Those first hours in the delivery room are slow and sacred. The other child/children we were nervous and unsure, but this time, everything just feels right. And when it’s time to go home, you leave with not only a new baby, but a whole new confidence. Because you know you’ve got this. Even when you’re overwhelmed or unsure, you’ll be able to figure it out - like you’ve already done before.
There’s just something about the last baby. Because when you’re fairly certain that you’ll never walk this path again, your perspective changes. Suddenly, every nighttime feedings don’t feel like such a burden. Because soon they’ll be sleeping through the night, and your early am meetings will come to an abrupt end. So, you cherish them a little longer. You worry a little less about all of those holiday outfits, staged family photos, and Pinterest-perfect family. And you begin to embrace the imperfection that is motherhood.You place less stake upon others opinions and more on your intuition - because you know that your the mama for your babies. And for the first time in years, you’ll feel less submerged by the newbornness. Because you’ll start to experience days of freer hands and lighter.
There's just something about that last baby. Because this time, the rush disappears.You'll slow down a lot more to just stare at them, even on the busiest of days. Trying to memorize all of their features, because you know how quickly that they can change. You've seen it happen before. And while you'll celebrate all of those once again milestones, you'll also mourn them this time around. Because those first smiles, first little giggles, first crawl, first words, and first few steps, well...they'll be the mark of something ending.So you;ll be okay with that gummy smile sticking around for a little while longer. And you secretly won't mind the fact that they aren't yet sleeping through the night, because it means that you get a few more moments to hold them close.
There's just something about the last baby. Because they'll bring this sense of fullness like you've never felt before.
You'll pause a little longer.
You'll love a little more.
And you'll soak it all in.
You won't love them any more than the rest, but you'll definitely appreciate them just a little more, because they're your last baby. And they always will be.
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