This morning I sat in bed with my not-so-much-babies children - wandering how my big boy will be three and my baby will be one VERY soon. And I realized how much motherhood slaps you in the face, sending you through different seasons of motherhood. While I absolutely loved the beginning season of motherhood, I am also grateful for the slightly different season that I am in now.
I no longer need to pump every two hours, wear nursing bras 24/7, worry about my toddler peeing in the potty, and watch over them every second. My activities do not revolve around too many nap times and my nights are no longer broken up by a nighttime potty training, wet diapers, and super needy cries. My children, while they are still very young, are a bit more self-sufficient now. Obviously they need me, but on a completely different level now. My son can grab his own snack and wipes his own butt (hallelujah!). In this stage, I don't embarrass them in public just yet and they are still willing to kiss and hug me in front of others.
Don't get me wrong, nothing was sweeter than those sweet baby cuddles, their skin melting into mine. But nothing was as daunting either. It was one of the most overwhelming times in my life, being thrown into motherhood and knowing that I was the mom with the important responsibility of keeping them alive.
The next season brought on days, weeks, and months of figuring out everything that came with that. Breastfeeding, functioning off a couple hours of sleep, hours of unreasonable crying, painful diaper rashes, fevers, ear infections, and of course the dreadful teething. It took time to figure out all the tasty things from my diet because each kids stomach was handled different to foods. Which led to dark days - too many to admit to - when I felt like it was just me and them...all of us in tears by the time my husband got home. I'm honestly saddened to remember those days. When they needed more of me, but they just wasn't enough to give. Feeling so helpless with the lack of milk production, patience, support, or even at times hope.
But eventually those dark days paved the way to good days. Visiting the hospital within two years until we've made our family a party of four. Two little people totally dependent on us to nourish, teach, help, and support them grow into healthy, responsible, kind, and capable human beings (No pressure at all).
Yet after it all, here we stand with an almost three year old and almost one year old, not only still alive but thriving! Sometimes looking around and sighing in relief and pride that I've somehow managed to keep our family moving one day to the next. Finally grateful for my two perfect, precious not-so-much-babies. Happy to embrace and even celebrate all that comes with motherhood and childhood.
And I know that these seasons will continue to change through every stage of life. So now I try to remind myself to treasure the days of the seasons. Even with the inevitable frustration and overwhelm that will creep in with it. Because life is always full of learning, growing, and opportunity to experience all of it. And taking it as an opportunity to grow from their highs, lows, challenges, and delights.
So to the pregnant mama, relish in the unique time that you have to feel that precise body grow and move inside of you. Cherishing those black and white sonograms as you count those tiny fingers and toes. To the mama with a newborn, for your own sanity, TAKE the advice to sleep when your baby sleeps. And to the mama of the tantrum-filled toddler, you got this! Forget the dishes, the gold fish crumbs on the floor, the toys scattered across the floor, and that unwashed hair in that big bun. And try to laugh with them as they explore the world with much curiosity and wandering eyes...even if those little bock feet mean shuffling through one chaos through the next. Then at the end of the day, sink into that bed of yours with a grateful heart.
As for me, I will continue to celebrate our current season of motherhood where I am still the center of my kids' lives. A season that I will hold onto for dear life for its wild, fun, and terrorizing ride that I expect to be before the next season hits.
Comments