Yeah, I said it! And I'll say it again. So what? At first I felt like a horrible mom, but now - GAME ON child! If you've ever had a toddler I know you thought it too. And if you don't just yet...well you just wait. Because guess what? We've all been assholes at one point in time. And babies, toddlers, and kids are anything exempt. No matter how cute they may be.
Now don't get me wrong - there are more moments where he is nothing but lovely and sweeter than sugar. Well when he wants to be; or more so when things are going his way that day. But I'm talking about the days everything to him is deemed unreasonable and therefore he unleashes full asshole mode.
On These Days:
He doesn't want to hold hands, just run out into the street. Which would be fine if it literally wasn't my only job to keep him safe. He doesn't want to eat. And when he does, we're either out of what he wants or it just isn't right. Unless we're at grandma's - then he eats everything in sight and makes me look like I don't feed him at home. Meals get ignored for toys. Oh, but fruit snacks...well that's a daily request. And sometimes, I'll admit, he'll have three packs in one sitting. He doesn't want to nap. Unless we're just getting to our destination. Now he sleeps, deeply too. And now I have to wake him for what would usually be a nice, fun activity to turn into a crying, whining, and protesting joy of a time. And he definitely doesn't want to share. I know that it takes some time and development. But come on, it becomes down right annoying and embarrassing at times. Especially when you can physically see other kids his age at a party sharing ever so nicely, making your child look like even more of an asshole. Which he does, and he is.
What I Do:
- PREPARE HIM FOR NEW SITUATIONS/ ENVIRONMENTS: I try to always set him up for success. Before we leave the house and get out of the car, I explain what to expect, my expectations of him, consequences (good and bad), and then quiz him on the expectations. I know that it seems like a lot for a toddler, but they understand more than we give them credit.
- DON'T LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLE'S REACTIONS: Honestly, it will only make you think worse of your child. And in all reality, it's NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS. You never want other people to affect your parenting. You need to be consistent for your child.
- ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO LEAVE: When at restaurants, the easiest thing to do is to order and ask for the check at the same time. You don't want to put yourself in the position where you could get stuck waiting to the point where dining and dashing doesn't sound so bad. Also if at parties, always have your things ready in one place. That way you can grab it all in one swift grab to head straight out the door.
- DON'T LOSE YOUR SHIT: I know, a hard one. But when I lose my temper, I've never found it to be progressive nor helpful. And if I feel like I am about to break, well I take a time out.
- TAKE HIM AWAY FROM THE SITUATION: I'll head to the bathroom or outside when things get bad, because sometimes he needs a break, too. He may be caught in a situation where he's over-stimulated, too tired, or just needs a cool down anyways. It's probably the one I do the most often just because how well it works with my son.
- REALIZE WHEN THE SITUATION IS OUT OF HIS CONTROL: I can't always expect him to keep it together. He's only two. So when he's had way too much sugar, didn't nap well, and is now up way past his bed tome, I try not discipline. It is not the time. And frankly not his fault. He can't control how his body reacts sometimes. And that's okay.
Yes, it is a phase and no, it's not our fault. So stay strong mamas! Good times are up ahead and I will never judge you for talking crap about your kids too.
Disclaimer: I know that it is all a phase and perfectly normal for the toddler stage. But it doesn't hide the fact that having a two year old is HARD WORK! It is a constant fast-paced war with a tiny human has NO reason to fight in the first place and could honestly give two fucks. I love him ALWAYS, but he does like to push the damn limits at times. And I know that one day it will all be over when I realize he grew up way too fast.
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