Potty training is the biggest milestone in toddler nation! It is the step in which your diaper wearing baby graduates pridefully to a underwear wearing child. But, it requires a lot of time, effort, and patience on everyone's accord.
Readiness
The most important thing in potty training is waiting until your child is ready. They are ready if: they are not tasked with any other milestone, exhibit independence, have social awareness, and are showing interest in the potty.
Kids tend to fixate on one milestone at a time and if they're still trying to master another skill, it can be overwhelming to try to learn potty training along with it. This may lead to resist behavior. When ready they will also show some independence, such as being able to pull their pants up and down and their ability to follow two to three step instructions. And being able to have some social awareness is very helpful. If they are able to see that other kids around them and their size are able to do it, then it can lead to some healthy competition. Because peer influence is one hell of a thing! Lastly, they should be interested in the potty. This may present in curiosity when you are going (because you know they're in there, as a mom there's no alone time) or the ability to communicate when they have gone.
Potty Talk
The first step in potty training is having the potty talk. I started by telling my son every time he peed or pooped in his diaper so that he would start associating the words with the physical act. Then we progressed to taking him to the bathroom every time he went to change and dispose of the diaper. Afterwards, when a potty change was needed, we would sit him on the toilet before wiping his little tush. These steps helped him to get to know that using the bathroom belongs in that space.
And let them know that potty talk is perfectly normal and okay in every way. Using the words is not a bad thing. In fact it's what will help you know when they actually need to know. If they can freely communicate it, there will be less accidents and less embarrassment associated with it. Even though they may embarrass you by screaming "yay mom, you're going pee pee" at the top of their lungs in a Costco bathroom like my son has done way too many times.
Choose a Theme
Potty training is serious and full of pressure on the child and parent. But success is a lot more likely when there's some fun to alleviate all the stress involved. So choose a theme that your kid will love. Or better yet, let them make the decision! It will go a long way in making them see the happiness in using the potty.
When choosing a potty stick to the theme. Some parents choose to do the individual little toddler, while others choose to have the snap on attachable seat. We decided on the attachable seat and a step stool. I just did not like the idea of a portable little potty that would be more of a hasel to clean. I also didn't want my son to be discouraged from using the big potty.
Kiss the Diapers Goodbye
The best way to get an idea, is to have something tangible to help completely grasp the concept. And the same goes for kids. So the best thing to do is to have them physically carry the diapers themselves to the trash. You do not have to actually throw them out (place a clean bag in the trash beforehand and pull them out afterwards when they aren't looking), but there is a huge lesson for them in doing it.
And then go commando for a little while! At first, underwear can feel like diapers to kids and can be kind of confusing. Therefore the best thing that I ever did was let my son run wild naked. He loved the freedom, could physically feel that there was nothing to catch it, and with having a boy, I was able to physically see when he had to use the restroom. Then we slowly introduced his themed undies with excitement.
Be Committed
When you are committed to the training and your focus is solely on it, you'll find that the results will be much more successful.
Your are going to need to set aside some days. Find some days in a row where you will be be able to focus on nothing but the potty. Like anything else in parenting, consistency is the best way to approach it. And also stay close to it, trying to not venture out if not need be. Because learning to use the potty is hard enough, let alone trying to learn in public!
Give them plenty of liquids and ask them constantly to go. Giving them the physical feeling of needing to go with the association of the question is going to be a crucial part of the process. Sometimes they will forget that they cannot just go whenever and wherever like when wearing a diaper. But, if you are there to constantly remind them, they will become more in tune of when to tell you that they need to. In that though, it is important to never use "do you", and instead "if you" or "lets" because if given the choice, they'll more than likely always say no.
Remember, every child is different. Expect little bumps in the road, and in this case, those little bumps are full of pee! And have some grace.
Rewards
Whether it is just something goofy and fun like a dance, a bribe like skittles, or a mixture of both, rewards can make the potty training process go over a lot more smoothly. They give your kid something to get excited for and want to achieve.
And make it a huge deal! The bigger the better. It will motivate them to want to go and receive the reward more and more.
With my son, we did a little bit of both techniques. At first we used a silly dance and high five when he would pee, which was more than enough to get him excited. But poop required a little more effort on my part. So we filled up a jar with m&ms, placed them on the counter (out of his reach), and offered every time he would try. Which I honestly didn't mind because that was the only sweets that he would partake in during the day. And after a while, he grew out of it to now accepting just a high five, being way too cool for moms silly dance.
Accidents
Yes, there will be accidents. A lot of them. And I mean A LOT! So remain calm. But also express your disappointment without the yelling. Because a floor can always be wiped and a carpet and clothes can always be cleaned. Voicing any frustration will only lead to more frustration on their part, and ultimately deter them from wanting to use it. And if you happen to catch it, run them straight to the potty. Even if only one drop lands in the potty, still reward. Because they still did it.
Disinfectants
I cannot stress this enough. BULK. IN. DISINFECTANTS. Especially if you have a boy. Because for some reason, pee somehow defies all logic and ends up EVERYWHERE! And you don't want your bathroom to smell like some misplaced sani-hut. I always love to get the five pack of Clorox bleach wipes at Costco!
Nighttime
With almost every child, nighttime does not come quickly. So it is perfectly fine to let them wear diapers at night and still remain potty trained throughout the day. Although, it is vital to take the diaper as soon as wake up, or else it will regress the potty training you already worked so hard for.
To start, cut off the liquids before bed time. Limit the drinks to dinner time so that their bladders don't fill and their ability to hold through the night fails. Next, make sure that you add a potty break to the night time routine. And if you choose to go diaperless at night, add in a mid-nighttime potty break.
I got very lucky with my son, to where he basically potty trained himself! After he mastered the potty, one day he just refused to put on the night time diaper, and I did not fight him on it. And since I had to get up in the middle of the night to pump, I would just get him up to use the potty too. At first I would use the toy he uses to fall asleep with for motivation. I would take it as soon as he was in a deep sleep and return it right after he would go potty. And in just one week, he was getting up at night on his own. Sure he has days now and then where he has an accident, but we just change the sheets and blankets and continue our night. Because just like everything else, blankets can be washed.
Outcome
Be ready to be utterly and completely proud. If any pee reaches the porcelain thrown, it is a feeling that you could not fathom you would ever feel about someone using the bathroom! It fills you with so much happiness to see your little baby do such a grown up milestone.
Tips and Tricks
- If your boy is having problems with aiming, try using a cheerio. Weird, but honestly effective. Place it in the toilet and let him shoot! It's not only fun for him but also gets him more excited to want to pee.
- Still having difficulties? Try throwing even more fun in there. There is a dye that you can add to the toilets, making it that when they pee, the water will change color. So, you're adding fun, experimentation, and a level of coolness to the potty.
-If there is a problem with pooping, try flipping them around. Sometimes kids feel more comfortable starting out the opposite way. There's also some washable crayons that you could by to preoccupy their mind as they sit trying to focus.
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