When you become a mom, you realize that the definitions of "love" and "like" are not within the same realm. And do not have to coexist.
Just to be clear, I DO like my children - in the general sense of the word. I like them as individuals and as tiny human beings. They're good people. But they just go through these phases where I just simply do not enjoy being around them as much as I may should. And in those times, it is tough, annoying, and absolutely maddening.
It is the times when they are whining over EVERY. LITTLE. POSSIBLE. THING. Because they're food just wasn't cut right. Because they stopped playing with one toy and now someone else wants to play with it. Because they have to use toothpaste to brush their teeth and not just water. Because they dropped one tiny drip of water on their dirt covered boots. Because they don't know how to hit skip to the ads on YouTube. Because they won't latch for breastfeeding, but also don't want the bottle. Because they don't want to be put down - even just for a minute. Just SO MUCH WHINING! Now listen, I can love a whining kid, but at a certain threshold, my feeling of "like" just goes flying out the damn window!
I always heard parents whisper and gossip to their friends about how they favored one child over the other or how at times their lines of loyalty shifted to the other depending on behavior. And I'll be honest, I judged them for it. I thought they were these soulless people who couldn't possible love their kids. But now I can say...I GET IT! I have joined the club.
The first time I felt it, I also felt EXTREMELY guilty for even thinking it. What good mother doesn't like her own child? What the hell is wrong with me? It's hard to fathom at first. But it happens. More than you want it to. I'm sure that some parents don't experience it and that some kids are even made of the most perfect of rainbows,. But mine, well they aren't. And the beautiful thing about children is that everything going on with them is just temporary. And so is my dislike of them. Yes, it's not that I don't like them all the time. In fact, they usually are quite remarkable shortly after their phase. To the point where I completely forget the little monsters they were in the first place.
So yeah, I'll admit it - I don't always like my children. And it may sound horrible. But it's true. However, I do always love them. Witch every fiber of my being I love them. But those two words are not the same thing and they don't have to be. It's okay to always love your child but not always like them. And chances are, most of the time they don't like you either!
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