Having Kids Two Years Apart

So many times I've found myself asking how other moms can handle three or four small children at one time. It's mentally daunting how much work goes into raising children, let alone multiple close in age. Mine are two years apart, with the oldest (Christopher) just turned three and the baby (AnnaLynne) turning one in June.

There's no right or wrong answer as to what is the best age gap in-between having babies. Because no matter how big the gap is, you will be happy and love your children. However, I am writing this to help you process the pros and cons of the two year age gap.

Pros of having kids two years apart:

1. Closeness in age. From my husband and I's own childhood (me being the youngest and him an only child), we knew that every age gap would give a different experience. So we took a hard look at what we wanted to gain from our parenting journey and the sibling relationship that we wanted to foster between our children. Knowing that it meant having a two year gap. Mainly we wanted our kids only two years apart was to ensure that they would be able to grow up close in age and in the same schools together. Making them close enough to have shared interests, play the same, and just understand each other a lot more.

2. Your oldest won’t remember life as an only child. Much to my surprise, Christopher adapted very well when AnnaLynne arrived. Sure, it was a little bumpy that first week trying to grasp the concept of a baby staying forever, but he soon started to love her more than anything. Waking up saying "Good morning Annie! You sleep good baby?" I truly love seeing their love blossoming as a duo.

3. You get to embrace the craziness. I feel like if you wait too long, you get this break that comes with bringing a baby into the world. You'll get to enjoy no diaper changes, sleeping through the night, and nights away from home. But if you stack them together, you never even know what hit you. You get to enjoy all of those baby/toddler moments in one go and get it over with in a sense. Don’t get me wrong, babies are adorable and I love to hold and cuddle them, but they are also a lot of work. I would rather double up during these little years when I am already stuck at home with a toddler then try to juggle a baby and an older kid all at the same time.

4. You can keep them both on somewhat of the same schedule. It took a little time and workarounds, but I have successfully set up a time in which both of my kids go down for an afternoon nap at the same time. Granted, because Annie takes a long morning nap she wakes up within 30 minutes, but I still count this as a success.

5. You'll gain a little more help. This may be true for those bigger age gaps as well, but I can't really speak upon that. But, I can say that when people see you struggling between a baby and toddler, they flock to help.

6. They get to experience a lot of things together. You can match their outfits and it'll be acceptable to do so. They'll have some of the same friends and get invites to all of the happenings together. You get to take them to the same age appropriate functions. And when they grow up, they get to experience the same phase of life for all milestones. Going through adulthood, careers, marriage, and kids together.

7. I'm not getting any younger. Yes, I had my kids at 19 and 21. But let me tell you, after I had my first, my body bounced back fast, but with my second, I feel like it's been kind of a battle. I can't imagine how much worse it would be if I had waited longer.

8. You won't have a bored 2-year-old. My daughter had been more than enough entertainment to keep my toddler's boredom away since the very beginning. He knows how to play with her, has developed more social skills, and has even made me realize how to provide more one-on-one learning with him as she sleeps.

Cons of having kids two years apart:

1. Diaper overload. I think the hardest and most expensive part of it all at the beginning for me was all the diaper changes. Which made going out anywhere a huge challenge - figuring out how to keep both sets of diapers on hand and how to change them intermittently in public. But it also made us push our son to potty train, which thankful he took to fast and amazingly.

2. You are in it! Yep, that pro of being in the baby phase is also a con. Because you feel like that sleepless nights are just way too continuous. An dealing with a toddler and newborn is this constant fight for attention. Never being able to sit down.

3. Say goodbye to your normal routine. When you have just one kid, you know what to expect when it comes to how you're going to do when you do it. Scheduling around their naps and activities. But when you add another child, there really is no schedule because when they do go down together, it's usually only for 30 minutes. I had to start waking up at 4 am to get a couple hours of "me time".

4. You're tired...ALL THE TIME. As much as I long for regular alone time with my husband, I often fall asleep way earlier than him. And if you're anything like me, having a second makes it even harder for you to leave them with a sitter. So we often don't do vacations or a lot of date nights.

5. People think you're crazy. BECAUSE YOU ARE.

Families come in all different shapes and sizes. There are plenty of pros and cons that come with every age gap, but for us, we felt that the 2 year gap was just right. And no matter what you choose to decide on what number looks right for your family, it will be perfect in every way.