Hi, my name is Jordan. And I am not a good enough wife or mother. I get moody and clingy. I struggle to keep up with the cleanliness of my house. I get resentful of my husband's free time and my children's needs. I don't pray enough for them. I forget things that they've told me multiple times. I get way too distracted. I take them for granted. I bottle up my emotions until things explode. I get stressed out and take it out on them. My heart and arms don't always remain as open as it should. And I am not a good enough wife and mom - on my own.
Because on my own, I am flawed. I am riddled with mistakes, insecurities, fears, and shame. I am overflowing with all of these worries and guilt. I am losing my strength, clenching my fists, and losing sight of what's important. But with God, I am more than enough.
The key to it all is His grace. A lot of grace that He gives to me and all of the people in my life. To forgive myself when I don't meet my own expectations and offering mercy when they mess up too. When the house isn't clean enough and I haven't gotten the chance to put away the laundry, His grace reminds me that I am a stay-at-home mother with a busy, healthy, and happy family. When I haven't made a proper lunch yet and the kids are eating a buffet of things from the cabinets all day, His grace reminds me that they love snacking and some of our most enjoyable meals have come from me having to think quickly in the kitchen anyways. When I've lost my patience, His grace reminds me that I am human with emotions. That I need to slow down, figure it out, ask for forgiveness, and forgive myself too.
I am wonderfully made—the perfect amount. (Psalm 139:13-14, 2 Corinthians 9:8). I am clad in armor, ready to extinguish every flaming doubt and faulty fear. (Ephesians 6:10-18). I am given a strength that lifts me up and keeps me safe, keeps me brave. (Isaiah 40:28-31). I am prepared and equipped. (Ephesians 2:10, Romans 15:4-8). I am upheld with a light to shine a way through the darkness. (Psalm 119:105). I am comforted and held, never alone in my struggle. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). And I am held together by a God that wrote my story to give me this man and children. And who redeems my soul and fights for me in my marriage and motherhood.
On my own, I'll never be good enough. But this was never a post about how I measure up as a wife and mother - this is all about the story of how He is always enough so that I don't have to be. And how His grace is here for us every day as wives and mothers. We just have to recognize that we need it and be willing to accept it.
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