Becoming a mom is the hardest thing you'll do in your life. Especially if you're an introvert! Which I am. Well more of an extroverted introvert. Meaning that although I exhibit most introvert qualities, I still enjoy social interaction from time to time.
What is an introvert? Well there's no clear cut guideline to it, but you may be one if you: (1) love and are energized by having time alone, (2) are productive when alone, (3) think leading is good, but won't unless it is handed to or fallen into it, (4) prefer to take the back seat, (5) usually are the source for advice to others, (6) often avoid eye contact, (7) avoid others in bad moods, (8) prefer non-direct communication, or (9) are uncomfortable with initiating conversation.
We Are Sensitive
Mostly due to the fact that we are easily-over stimulated. The normal happenings affect us deeply, and let me tell you, motherhood is just one big 'ol stimulation party!
Our productivity decreases when we're surrounded by noise. And if you know anything about kids, then you know that they have no dial to control their volume. Which means most of the time we get absolutely nothing done because honestly, it is so hard to think when there is even the slightest bit of craziness going on in the vicinity.
Having our kid play at a busy place is overwhelming. With every play date or kid filled place, there's bound to be one mom who comes over to talk about the kids. And the last thing that we want to do is to be stuck in a place where we may be forced to mingle and fail at a little thing called small talk!
Having an extroverted kid is draining as hell! When you have a kid who wants to do all the things that you feel uncomfortable with, it is absolutely exhausting. They are constantly needing our attention, love help with everything, want to play with EVERYONE, and never want to just hang out.
We're completely in-tune with ourselves. We can notice even the most subtle changes in ourselves. Which means that we can feel when our mood shifts ever-so-slightly. So when our kids go through their own mood swings, we have to work twice as hard not to just jump on the band wagon!
We are Perfectionist
Overthinking is inevitable. Problems coarse through our heads looking for the perfect solution longer than it should ever take. All of the "simple" decisions become inconvenient and motherhood is packed full of decisions. Hundreds...every day.
It's hard to ask for help. Because being an introvert usually means that we're perfectionists. So we believe that "good moms" don't need help. And more importantly, asking for help, well that means that we actually have to initiate conversation.
Days where we have no plans are the best! Their the most perfect days, actually. It means that we don't have to overthink or spend our entire energy making sure that whatever we're doing doesn't have to be completely perfect.
Tips for Handling Being an Introvert Mom
Institute some quite time during your daily routine. Incorporate real moments of quiet, solitude, and peace, and make them a sacred part of the day in order to keep the sensitivity of your emotions under control. You can do it by either instilling set individual play time for the kids during the daily routine where you usually find the day becoming difficult and/or by getting up early every day to start the day off right.
Stop feeling guilty. Any "good mom" feels overwhelmed at times and could need some help from time to time. You are not the only one, and definitely will not be the last! And you can't help the way that you're brain is wired. Accept who you are and stop trying to change yourself. You are an introvert, embrace it! Let's hear you roar, except we probably won't.
Go on a walk. Even if you can't manage to do it alone, "get away" by wearing some headphones while doing it and let your mind wander (within reason of course). If the kids need something you can typically use your mom intuition to tell just by their body language. For the most part, it will not hurt them to get strapped in a stroller for 20 minutes. Plus, you get to throw some exercise into your day!
Indulge in a glass of wine...or two! Sometimes sipping on some mama juice is the best break to a long day.
Shift your career. Being an introverted mom can sometimes make you crave the more simplified home life. A stay-at-home mom can be the perfect cut out of other distractions involved in being a working one, allowing you to be able to focus a little more on alone time and have more energy for your family. And on the flip side, becoming a working mom can also help you get all your negative vibes out outside the house. Which can help create a more positive home atmosphere and focus on the positivity of your family.
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