What is it like having a boy? It is living in a house with pee all over the bathroom floor, no food in the fridge, laughs at burps, hurt feet from stepping on dinosaurs, and right when you've had enough, it is bear hugs, kisses, and ALL the cuddles. Little boys can test your patience in every way, run you absolutely ragged, and make you want to pull your hair out! But they can also melt your heart with just one look. Let me just say, if you're going to be a boy mom...you are in for one hell of a treat. So let operation boy mom preparation begin!
Prepare to Be His World
When you have a boy, from the very moment that you lock eyes, the mother-son bond is born with him. He, your little man and you, his first love. And there is something so completely sweet and precious about the love surrounded in that bond. As they grow they begin to develop an innate desire protect you, see your beauty, and crave your affirmation. Because in your arms he will experience life. There is where he finds his peace. It is where he will quickly turn from an energetic, super charged monster to a huge pile of soft, cuddly mush!
They are Physical
It is no secret that boys are active, loud, rambunctious, and prone to roughhousing. They'll learn all about climbing, jumping, throwing, and wrestling before they even hit one year. So don't be surprised if he may be cuddling one moment and then tackling down the next. It's as if they have this automated programmed desire to move and be free from the moment they're born, wrestling and tumbling around as if it is a socially acceptable greeting. And with that, they're also born with huge magnets attached to their limbs. So expect a ton of bruises, scabs, and maybe at some point even a broke bone (or two). They're just part of life as a boy.
Boys Play Differently
Boys love to tear down and destroy EVERYTHING! They don't get as much enjoyment from the simple act of putting something together as they do completely knocking it down. And that's okay! In every way - let them play the way they want (obviously within reason). Allow them to play with those toy guns as long as he understands that there is where the play ends. Then you'll also find yourself joining in, playing dinosaurs and watching car movies that you really have no interest in, and yet love it just because you get to see it through his love for it.
Penises on Display
Apparently boys are VERY comfortable with their bodies, so just know that you will definitely see them! A lot of them. And it's not only okay, it's perfectly normal. As a result you will find yourself saying "penis"way too often in public and eventually realize that you have to face it down in a diaper to avoid spillage. And although it is okay, it is also your job to eventually teach him the boundaries that come with the property.
There is No Noise Volume
As a boy mom you'll realize that your tolerance builds slowly to things, especially all of the loud noises. Because you'll know that usually with it brings play and happiness. And trust me, when they're really having fun, there is no max volume! And most of the time it's dirty. But you can regulate it. If you try to stop it all together, all that it will do is frustrate him so it is so important to understand noise is not bad. In all actuality, it just means that a whole lot of fun is going on. You just have to find a level that works for your own family. And remember that at the end of the day dirt will wash off and energy levels will fade, but the fun memories that they have now will last for years!
Letting Him Be a Boy
I've found that the most important thing in raising a boy is to just let him do all the boy things . Because in allowing him to do so, it's actually ceased his urge, he has struggled less, rises after failure easier, and has gained problem solving capabilities. He's learned a lot more about the cause and effect of his actions. He's learned that with falling comes it's buddy pain (of course falling within reason only). And if there is a true risk in something that he is doing, then I simply coach him in making a safer choice that can still make the activity enjoyable or redirect to another activity that can keep his body safer. But he's also learned how to keep his own body safe, too! He's been able to develop his own comprehension as to which situations are safe. And more often than not, he is perfectly capable of setting the tone for what is the right level of challenge for himself.
How to Connect with Him:
- Work on a project together. It is easier to have a meaningful or intimate conversation with your little man while preoccupying him and working side-by-side.
- Watch a movie of his choice. You'll get to learn about his interests. And he'll feel valued in his opinions because he'll be able feel like his ideas matter to you.
- Play a game together. Get one with some strategy tailored to your son's development. It will help open them up and feel as though they can talk without any interrogation.
- Do a physical activity. Boys love getting the opportunity to get active and move. When you participate, they find a new appreciation for it.
- Join in on something he loves. There's nothing like the feeling a child feels when you show interest in learning about his interests.
So for all you expecting or beginner mamas to soon have a boy, may you enjoy every bit of that loud, wild, and super sweet ride of raising your little boy!
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