Absolutely no one is exempt from the harsh realities entangled with motherhood. With it comes the burdens that we carry around from week to week: sleep deprivation, stress from working (or not working), financial pressures, fear of failing as a parent, insecurities of relationships, and meeting the emotional and physical needs of our families. And as much as we love being moms, some days it all just piles up, leading to the inevitable BAD MOM DAY...dun dun duunnn.
You know the day. The day in which we've somehow survived a grocery shopping toddler tantrum, a boxing match with vegetables at every meal, and just could not seem to fit in any fun because there was just too many other things to do. The kids have on the pajamas that they slept in the night before, their room looks like it's been ransacked, and your toddler just completely forgot what the hell a toilet is. The kind of day where by the end of it, you feel like you've completely fallen off the track to having this mom thing down packed.
These are the days that we experience the most. And I admit, on these days, I cant help but count down the hours until bed time. Staring at the clock, clicking down the hours...three, two, just one more hour with these adorable, yet totally exhausting little human beings.
But then I remember bad days happen. It is all part of being a mom. And just because you have them, it doesn't make you a bad mom. If your kids have been glued to an iPad all day because that is the only way you can complete a task, you aren't a bad mom. If your kids have thrown themselves to the floor kicking and screaming for the millionth time today, you aren't a bad mom. If you all have bed head lingering from the night before spilling into tonight's, you aren't a bad mom.
Why? Because you are a good mom, even on the bad days. You love your kids to the ends of the Earth, even when they've thrown up on you, peed all over your bathroom floor, and spilled crumbs all over the floor right after you just vacuumed. Bad days are forever bound to happen. It's part of being a parent. And if by the end of the day you want to pour yourself a big glass of wine, I am right there with you. Because I have been there before and I will be there again. So here's my tips on trying to make those days just a little bit easier.
Have Grace
Remember, YOU ARE A GOOD MOM! Having a bad day does not at all define you as a mother. You are without a doubt allowed to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and just over it ALL. Why? Because you are still a parent. You are present, willing, and obviously trying your best. We all know that there are moms out there who don't show up for their children, but YOU DO. You show up and never plan on quitting. So don't beat yourself up for having a bad day. You are not the first, nor will you be the last mom to have a completely craptastic day as a mother.
And when the kids are having a melt down, try to remind yourself how they feel. You get grumpy when you're hungry too. You get anxious with a drastic change too. You feel frustrated when things don't go your way too. You get overwhelmed when things are way beyond your reach too. We are all learning together,and we all need a little patience and a whole lot of grace to figure it all out.
Take a Time Out
The kids are running you crazy, and there's nothing you'd rather do but run away. So why don't you? Provide a safe place for your kids, and take the time to go sit in your room with the door closed for even just a minute. And you know what? Grab a coffee and something good to eat along the way. Not your thing? Well then blast your favorite song to dance and sing along to. Do whatever you need to do, as long as the kids remain safe, so that you can get a little peace and come back refreshed with regained focus.
Do Something Fun
If you're having a bad day, there's more than a big chance that the kids are too. Maybe ALL of you need to get out of the house and get a change of scenery. Go to the park, museum, library, or even to the dang ice cream parlor. Surprising the kids with an impromptu adventure will help everyone feel even the slightest bit better and help everyone be a little happier by the time you return.
CRY. IT. OUT.
Listen, there is absolutely ZERO shame in allowing yourself to indulge in a good 'ole cry. Excuse yourself to a more private place and just let it out. My choice always seems to be the bathroom, and sometimes, more selectively, the shower. It may last only a few minutes or a bit longer. However long it takes to release the pent up frustration, give yourself the time and space to feel it in its entirety and then LET IT GO.
Apologize
Your children are always going to love you regardless and know precisely what it's like to have a hard day. Because they have hard days too. So take the time to have a sit down with them, explain that mommy is having a rough time today, and then apologize for being in a horrible mood. Because trust me, they're the first to notice. And not only that, it goes a long way in creating a learning opportunity as well. They will be able to better understand your impatience, appreciate your honesty, and be able to see how to apologize effectively and practice forgiveness.
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