Yesterday I was listening to Miranda Lambert's song The House that Built Me , and it got me thinking about the one that built me. A home that I'm doing the final clear-out of in preparation for moving to a new town and state - those four walls and roof that once formed the center of my world. And even though I didn't stay here for long this time around and more than looking forward to leaving it, it has always been a place of comfort, refuge, and constancy for me.
Growing up, my house was the hot spot. Ask any of mine or my siblings friends that our home was where people liked to hang. Most of them actually stayed with us for an extended period of time. Getting to know my mother to the extent of calling her nothing but mom themselves. And I have some of my own amazing memories in this house, Memories that I feel shaped me into the person that I am today. Memories that grew into my life as a woman, wife, and mother. Because I lived - and now live here again. It holds my past and current life.
It's where I started developing my first friendships. Starting with a girl just a couple houses down just before starting kindergarten. Where I shared some of my deepest secrets to my best friend from middle school to now in that room down the hall and last room on the left. And also the same room I cried my eyes out when some of my other friendships shattered. It's where I brought home my husband when he once my boyfriend. Letting him meet my family in their crazy habitat. And where I snuck him in one time while my mom was out of town. Leaving him in the room to be quiet for a whole hour as my brother's friend checked in on me. It's where my two childhood dogs died a year after each other. And holds their graves in it's very backyard. Both right next to each other. It's where I told my mother that I was pregnant with my first child. Clinging to the couches that filled it's living room as I nervously shouted it at the exact wrong timing. Crying and praying that my mom would somehow understand. It's where my family and friends continue to gather for parties and holidays. It is my childhood home.
And I am so thankful for these last couple months of staying here. A time of memories that leave me looking forward to the future too. Connecting with the family that I have being that we live with my mom, brother, sister-in-law, and our own family of four. Letting my kids take the time to grow in a place that I grew as well. In some way connecting to them and it even more. Making me experience it as more than a basic house. But as more of a home - as a place where you live, are loved, create memories, experience every emotion, and a safe place to land when you fall. And I know that to some it is just a house. But as we soon leave this home and travel to make our own, I have to be honest enough to say that I will miss my childhood home terribly and all of the memories it holds with it.
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