Next to the ever-growing formula vs. breastfeeding debate, there is also the controversial parenting choice of screen time given to kids. On one side there are the hard-liners (the side I was on before having kids), who say no to screen time under the age of 2 or not at all. They believe that all interactions should come from caregivers, exploration, and exposure. And there's the other side, who says "Why not?" They believe that you can manage screen time through movies, TV, the Internet, apps, and games.
Now, I fall somewhere in the middle. If you're a mama working through the battle yourself, here's my take on screen time.
Time Limit
In my opinion, I think that a little bit of media isn't going to harm them in one bit. I simply encourage a time limit with the screens for my kids. Because I believe that the most important thing is that time spent with the screen does not completely replace their time spent with me. So I usually give my son about 2-3 increments of 15-30 minutes of screen time every other day, and sometimes actually only on days when he asks (which is pretty rare). But he also doesn't get to have whatever. He has to either: 1) explore new words, ideas, sounds, or pictures through apps, 2) look through photos and names body parts, names, or places, and 3) watch part of a children's movie.
Facetime
With my family mostly in California and us in Nevada, we use Facetime often to build relationships between those we can't physically be with. So when counting screen time, I completely exclude video-chatting. Because I don't think that it is any different than speaking to them on the phone (and actually it's easier for my two young children to interact with them since it involves more physical language than verbal).
TV as Background Noise
Now this one was a tricky decision for me. I really enjoy having something on the screen, but I know that having it on could lead to fewer interactions and conversations with my kids. Which obviously could affect them in a major way. So I decided to compromise. I do have my TV on all day, but I keep it at a VERY low volume, pause every 20 minutes for 20 in turn or mute during commercials, avoid mature content, and always make an effort to interact with them as much as possible.
The Movie Theater
I know that some parents do not take their kids at all to the theaters due to the screen being too big for their eyes, the over-stimulation, and loud noise. But I am not one of those parents. I absolutely love taking my kids to the movies. I just make accommodations to make sure that it is appropriate for them - sitting in a seat far from the screen, in a quieter place, has child-friendly content, and always prepared to leave if it is too much.
What I Do on No Screen Time Days
Let's face it, it can be kind of exhausting playing with kids. Building blocks a hundred times, coming up with superhero dialogue, or digging out dinosaurs in the sand all day. So sometimes I have my son do some other activities to occupy the time while I take a break.
- Listen to music. My son loves to dance, shake, and spin to all kinds of beats and sounds. So I put on his favorite songs to encourage him to move, get out his wiggles, and even make some sounds himself.
- "Read" books. My children love books, we have reading time every days - most of the time twice a day. But every now and then I also have it a third as more of an independent reading time. I set my son up with some books that he holds, flips the pages to, and makes up gibberish with. To make it more fun I'll even place some of his superheroes or stuffed animals in a semi-circle in front of him for him to pretend to have an audience for.
- Add in another creative activity. I do some kind of crafty thing every day. But if I need a little more me time, I'll usually set my son up with a quiet activity that he can sit down doing by himself and with minimal supervision. Such as drawing, painting, or play-doh.
Dealing With More Lenient Family and Friends Screen-Time Users
Every family is different, and that makes no exception for screen time views. And often I've found it tough to talk about because I don't want to be judged or come off as judgemental myself. But I do set guidelines with the people that my kids spend a significant time with. Such as letting them know our time limits, restricted views, and tech-free zones that we have established. And in times, I even bend my own rules a bit because it's just not a battle fight with some people.
When I Say No to Screen Time
- When they wake up. The mornings are the times that I get my kids moving. We have a morning routine in place. And it includes some type of physical activity (running in place, dancing, or even doing a workout with me), morning walk, or playing out doors. I think that it helps get out a lot of their just-woke-up energy to help them focus more throughout the day.
- In the car. I've found that there's a lot of learning during trips to do. There's so many experiences and opportunities for interactions found within different scenery right outside their window. Even if were traveling just five minutes away to grandmas. So I try to do an easy toddler version of I spy, point out items he likes, ask him questions, or sing songs along the way to engage him.
- At the grocery store. I know that shopping can be kind of boring for kids, just like long car rides. But I think there are a lot of learning opportunities to learn as well. There's all kinds of colors, shapes, items to count, numbers, and patterns to point out. And even human interaction, especially at Costco where my son loves to give the door people the receipt.
- Close to bedtime. Just like a morning routine, bedtime routines give the perfect opportunity to do some activities with my kids. Usually we do a bath, book, song, and kisses.
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