Of course, when you look forward to your labor, you think of who will come to visit your baby when they make their arrival. But you should also take into account who will be there during the whole thing! And in order to make this decision there are a few things to consider.
Your Comfort Level
Remember that during labor all that you will have on is a hospital gown. There are no added layers of clothes or underwear. There is only a skimpy piece of fabric that is constantly being pulled aside for monitoring. Which can leave you exposed to everyone in the room for extended periods of time - not to mention how exposed you'll be during the actual birth. And then there's the emotional side too. Labor requires a lot of oxytocin (the love hormone) which can make your emotions feel a hundred times stronger. So it's important to know who you feel the most comfortable with in these aspects to make sure that you are feeling the best during your entire labor process.
Your Hospital's Limit
If your birth plan includes a trip down to the hospital consider that most hospitals actually have a set limit on the number of people that can be present during the labor and delivery process. So before you begin to make promises to others on who can be there, check with your hospital about their policy. And remember that these policies are put into place to ensure that your health care team has enough room to properly take care of you and your baby.
Have a Plan B
Of course everyone would love to have the perfect scenario of their partner being by their side through the whole labor process, but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way! But by making sure that there is someone that you feel comfortable with who can take their place in case of emergencies, it can make all of the difference. But be sure to let them know that they will only be in the room as an as-need basis so that things do not become too complicated on the already complicated day.
Telling Someone They WON'T be in the Room
This can be a VERY tricky situation. In many cases, parents and in-laws have the assumption that they will be automatic scheduled into the list. But if that is not what works for you, make sure that you actively speak to them beforehand and explain your desires. Being open and honest is the best way to handle the situation. Plus, at the end of the day it is all about you and your baby, and what will work best for your family.
My Decision
I had the same three people in the labor room for both of my babies - my husband, mom, and mother-in-law. I was very comfortable with the three of them. My husband and mother for obvious reasons, and my mother-in-law being that we have a close relationship, this would be her only grandchildren, and she really is like a second mother to me being that I've known her since fourteen and lived with her for the most part of both pregnancies. It was also easy to decide since our hospital's limit was three. I think that if we were allowed only two, I would have just had my husband and mom because my mom is a nurse and helped me through a lot through the whole labor process. Making me have the tough conversation with my mother-in-law. And on the other spectrum, if they allowed any more than three, I would have stayed at three because it would have been difficult who to decide who else to be there because I'm sure my sister and both of my husband's aunts would have wanted to be there.
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