Someday I'll Be Me Again

Someday I'll be me again.

Someday I'll start to read grown up books that peak my interest and challenge my own intellect more often than books about shapes, dinosaurs, monsters, and the alphabet.

Someday I'll choose to wear clothes as more of a fashion statement than layering over breastfeeding stains and wearing yoga pants because it's what I feel most comfortable in while chasing my toddler.

Someday I'll quit just throwing my hair into a huge rats nest of a bun on the top of my head and actually have time to shower, soap, shampoo, and condition by myself every single day.

Someday I'll spend hours outside crocheting blankets, drawing, and writing to my heart's content.

Someday I'll be able to wear those pre-baby pants because I can hit the gym to lose weight without the worry of where to take my kids or who is watching them.

Someday I'll drive a car that isn't full of toys, snacks, and car seats.

But right now isn't someday. Because right now my babies need me.

They need me to change their diaper, wipe their ass, feed them snacks, play referee, and kiss their boo boos. I get pulled in every direction and give bits of myself to those tiny little humans as they need me to.

I still know exactly who I am and I know that I am still whole. But I am just more of a mother than I am anything else right now.

And as time passes and my little ones gradually grow, I'm sure that they will start to give me those little bit back. Probably being more painful than it ever was giving it to them.

Someday I'll be my again, but right now I am completely okay with being Christopher and AnnaLynne's mommy.